Further testing is required. Chance comes walking with one of those moments of realization. I stumbled on a way of cheating on a blood pressure test. Maybe.
First step to do. Slouch in chair. Second. Fold the legs back or under a chair as the medical professional (medpro) applies the tourniquet or cuff. The air then squeezes the arm to a point. When the air is finally slowly released from the cuff, discreetly straighten out your legs onto the floor.
This should lower the blood pressure reading. I figure as much as ten points.
Wait. Hold on! Now the ears can hear the hooting, “Gord, ya moron! Why ya cheatin' on a blood test!”
Point taken. Basically your cheating yourself. But I got pissed at my team of medpros. You see I went in to get treatment for a knee and my dysfunctionalating back. Doc tests my blood pressure. I get drugs lowering my blood pressure but nothing for the back.
An allegory. Take the car to the mechanic to change the brakes.
Mechanic says, “Hey your muffler's noisy.”
I said, “Ya I know, I like it that way. I don't wanna fix the horn.”
Oh yea. Oh yea. The mechanic says the government packed with idiots says he's got to fix the muffler and the horn. But fixing the horn and muffler, he neglected to fix the brakes. Now, I can hit your progeny in silence.
Same thing. I know my blood pressure is high. Its like saying its dark at midnight. What the fuck does anyone need to fix it for? Back hurts.
If I die of high blood pressure fine and dandy, then the back don't hurt. Until then, lets keep this back pain lower. Little things really start to bug you as age corrupts the future corpse. Hence, I figured out this way to lower the appointed measure without having to eliminate salt and bacon. Besides things like this, - freakin' fun.
1 comment:
All I can say is, I hope this blood pressure cheat works. I'll be trying it shortly.
After avoiding the medical profession for over two years and feeling perfectly fine, I've recently had nine appointments, eight of which I didn't want and now I feel like utter crap all the time.
I just went in to renew a prescription for a problem with my legs. Naturally, they took my blood pressure and freaked out. The result? Lots of treatment for blood pressure but absolutely no treatment for the legs!
It turns out there's no 'approved' treatment for what's wrong with my legs so, of course, the legs can't be treated at all but the blood pressure? Hell, it seems they have endless treatments they can try!
The legs? Well, I guess I'm on my own there.
One of the small town doctors in our tiny Clinic is apparently a lot smarter than all of those moron researchers at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and he overrode my previous, totally successful treatment. It was, after all, 'unapproved'.
I'm with you, Gord. If I have to put up with the legs, I don't even want to stabilize my blood pressure. Really, what's the point? So I can suffer longer?
[Grumble]Grumble[/Grumble]
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