Eleanor Wachtel hosts a rather tedious CBC program called Writer's and Company. I mean tedious by CBC standards. It features Wachtel slyly interviewing authors. She attaches herself to the interviewed with phony insightful perceptions which the authors generally agree with her. Constantly.
The only other choice in that time period was to change over to a program on the Fan590 hosted by either the ever arrogant Mike Wilner effusing a new twisted defense about regarding the latest loss of the Blue Jays or the genuine county radio mouth Syracuse alumus who brands himself as somethin' Stormin somethin. The latter insisted last fall that John Ferguson Jr., General Manager of the Maple Leaf Hockey Club should have a contract extension. More on this later. Says it all though.
So one gets the idea. I do not have a TV. Like nothing exists on cable anymore. They have a lot of choice. Would you like this nothing or that nothing then pay Rogers another $70 per month in the faint hopes that intelligent life will emerge on a channel any channel. And if I did use the public airwaves the only thing I could get is the CBC News with some pansy immigrant butt kissing wuss refugee trying to read the news about Canada. Like I said. Its ten o'clock pm hell.
This is really strange. Its like changing channels during a commercial break to find out that every other channel has commercials. One frequency... crap... the next... crap... the next ... crap... What is this some sort of tele-electric fuckassed conspiracy?
Like I knew this already. So saving my waning energy reserves I had to listen to this left coaster ivory tower wench Wachtel interview some loser Canadian writer. Well for a change she had somebody someone actually knew. Although I do not like his writing I am comfortable with the fact that he probably doesn't like mine in return. It was Michael Ondaatjee.
I was contemplating changing the frequency over to the tedious Stormin rant when Wachtel started her tedious insightful questions. Now I have to say I am paraphrasing this totally and going by recall so I will write it like a radio script for fiction but you'll get the idea.
The characters described in the following script have nothing to do with real life and are not related to real life persons.
Whacktel
In your recent book your main character Pierre LaQueer expresses his disappointment with the relationships of the Step Mother with the Earth Mother and his blood Mother to the Father of the Saloon. Is it an allegory to the real life experience in Balil Stanka?
O'Dontya
No not really. I just sat down and wrote it out.
Whacktel
The character LaQueer develops his career juxtaposed to the welfare of the ethic immigrant community in the new land. Does this plot effort manifest your experience with the twisted immigration policy expressed in Canada?
O'Dontya
No. I sat down. I just wrote it and it came out that way.
[Now most people would give up this line of questioning. You would... I would... But not...]
Whacktel
Ughh. [it was an audible despite editing] LaQueer confronted by the irascible Tom Langton defused the situation by anger and physical threat. In the text he waved the gun. Does this symbolize the relationship between the United States and Canada as a an expression of ultimate futility of international friendship.
O'Dontya
No. When I sat down and began writing I felt this idea would work.
[This type of questioning went on for a full forty minutes.]
1 comment:
It's obviously time for you to write and publish a book based on your blogs of course because your blogs are based on your life. We could call it an 'autobiography', although I've never liked that word.
There's nothing automatic about an autobiography.
That's an original Fred Flint thought and quote and if it happens to be original, you can use it as your own, Gord! I have no need for original phrases now and never have needed them in the past, either. I'm just too dull to have original phrases following me around in my life.
Then you can go and visit Eleanor Wachtel on Writers and Company and have fun with her during the interview.
It's too bad you don't watch MSNBC because they had Contessa Brewer interview Tommy Chong (of Cheech and Chong), who's a well-known product of Canada from Edmonton. The interview was about about Paris Hilton being in jail and it didn't go very well or very predictably for poor Contessa. Tommy did have Stephen Colbert in stitches.
Needless to say, the interview didn't go quite the way Contessa thought it might go. That would be a good template for your interview on Writers and Company.
Alternatively, if you don't feel like writing a book this week, we could always suggest Eleanor interviews Tommy about his book, called The I Chong, of course.
He ought to have a bunch of fun with such a tedious but insightful, pedantic lady.
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