Normal?
You want normal?
Slap Neat hair remover
On the top of your head.
Try pulling your hair.
Stick your thumbs into your eyes
Ten times light and fast.
Get twenty pound weights attached to fish hooks.
Skewer them through the meat of your cheeks.
Feel gravitas drag on your facial skins.
Stick pins in your neck and shoulder joints.
Slug back a mickey of whiskey.
Sit on your hands for ten minutes,
On a block of Lake Winnipeg ice.
Stick earplugs in those drooping ears.
Now look in the mirror.
That's your normal,
New in twenty years.
G. Duncan Campbell
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