Think you have it bad? Think Moss Park has it bad? Compared with happenings in Northern Ontario, its nothing. According to our confidential unconfirmed and not too reliable sources in that remote part of Ontario the Chinese government has released hordes of highly trained spy animals into the municipal matrices of several towns.
These animals are spreading throughout the province unhindered by normal restraints. Police do little to prevent the territorial expansion of these critters. One has just been seen waddling away from Howe Street nonplussed by the light of day.
If seen these animals must be approached with extreme caution as they reportedly have a prickly temperment. While mass extermination appears to be a solution, another is capture. They would be very suitable if introduced to the wilder parts of Moss Park. Spy equipment would have to be disabled but after that they would fit into the park's goals. They would be mascots for the needle exchange programs.
1 comment:
Good photograph. It looks exactly like the suspect I observed, slinking in a waddling sort of way through the back yard at dawn.
You can have a few for Moss Park, if you can catch them and transport them. I'd warn the local cats and especially the local dogs first, though. Maybe you might want to warn little kids, too.
We've got lots and we're probably going to have lots more as the animals start out-populating the humans around here, which is apparently the provincial government plan for northern Ontario --- and far from a bad thing, unless you happen to be a human.
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